see ya, space cowboy...

Date:
28/07/19


Mood: proud!


Music of the day: rocketman (nsp cover)
15:32
So I went to my city's pride parade with a few friends yesterday and I had, like, ungodly amounts of fun. We got the train there (it wasn't as hot as last year thank god - I nearly fainted on the train because of the heat in last summer's heatwave) then we met up with a college friend and her twin and their cousin, and trooped off down to the forum where all the stalls were. I got two massive flags - bi and trans - and tied them around myself like a cape, and then the march began! And, I'm gonna be real with you, I'm gonna have to finish this entry later because I am exhausted so I'm gonna take a quick nap and fill you in on the deets in a bit!

18:42

Okay, I'm back! The nap was pretty good honestly, but I'm still super tired. Anyway, we marched through the city and the atmosphere was electric. Everyone was cheering and singing - we kept singing Backstreet Boys and ABBA because someone brought their speaker - and I kept waving at the assholes who were glaring at us. We kept seeing people we knew, and ended up with one more person than we started with. The march finished at the park, and it was absolutely packed with people. We had a look around the stalls (it was mostly art and facepainting stuff) and then wound up at the stage where there were dancers and then this magician dude but, like, tons of people started leaving as soon as he was announced. Must be hard being a magician.

At 3:00 we split because Chloe, Lauren, and their cousin had a bbq and Seabass and I needed to go meet her mum. Which took a while, because her mum's phone died, so we just sat in the mall watching the people coming back from pride go past. This one guy was ecstatic that I had flags and told me as much, then ordered me to "have a good one". Bless.

After that came McDonalds, then shopping, then the train home - which was a fiasco and a half. Someone had been hit by a train so the lines were closed, and on the train we got on this old man was complaining and the guy opposite went off. He said, and I directly quote, "SHUT YOUR TRAP YOU FFFFFUCKING MELON!" Which was something.


Date:
12/07/19


Mood:


Music of the day:
17:01
It's been so hot that all I can bear to do is sleep. I watched S3 of Stranger Things with mum, as is tradition, and it was pretty good! Not gonna spoil anything obviously, but it was definitely worth waiting for.

I've also been going on walks to kill my boredom (I cannot stand to be cooped up at home) and I'm probably gonna ask mum if I can go up city at some point before I keel over and die.


Date:
04.O7.19


Mood: tired


Music of the day: Automatonic Electronic Harmonics
22:23
Finally got my zoloft back yesterday (I lost it in my room, and had to suffer the consequences... withdrawal's a bitch). Felt pretty lousy all day, so I just worked on artfight stuff and played DST. It would be nice if artfight would, you know, work but... it seems nothing's working lately. Netflix was apparently down for a lot of people, and so was instagram and facebook.

Stranger Things 3 came out today but, like... I don't know if I'm that enthused, y'know? Partially it's being able to see the holes in the writing (the Duffers do love their casual misogyny) and partly it's just growing up, I guess. Weird to think I'm nearly 18. I've noticed myself changing a lot more lately, like the things I like are different and I can't bear the music I used to like two years ago.


Date:
02/07/19


Mood: BUSY!!


Music of the day: Clockwork Vaudeville
22:48
God, I know I've been super inactive but I've just been rushed off my feet! I finished college today, though, and GUESS WHAT! I GOT A DISTINCTION (HIGHEST GRADE) FOR MY FINAL PROJECT!!! I'm so fucking ecstatic, it means I can go on to do art in September!

This is gonna have to be a really short entry 'cos mum's yelling for me right now but I'm gonna be a lot more active from now on!


Date:
27/06/19


Mood: Tired


Music of the day: Kidnap Me (CRUISR)
22:56
I wrote, like, half an entry last night then tapped out 'cos I was exhausted. I still am - I think it's the heat. Right now I'm trying my best to type quietly since I'm allowed to be online when my parents are in bed buuuuut I have a mechanical keyboard. Which is loud as hell.

It sucks that I'm so out of spoons lately. I can't muster the mental energy to even talk to people and I'm just blegggghhhh. Being disabled isn't fun sometimes! I did do some more refs for artfight which is good - my username is @milkday if you wanna follow me - and I'm trying to get my motivation back to write. If I did post writing, would any of you read it?



Date:
25.06.19


Mood: REALLY HAPPY


Music of the day: Midnight, the Stars, and You (Al Bowlly)
22:21
Last night I had to sleep downstairs again because the spider made a reappearance. I ended up pulling the couch cushions off and lying on them, since I really am too tall for the couch itself. My head hurts 'cos it's hot as hell and Sooty woke me up early because she tried to sit on me. Love that cat, but she is so weird.

There's this old guy on the bus that's always doing something weird. He once drank a pint of milk straight from the bottle. Today he decided he'd knock it out of the park and so - after booting someone from 'his' seat - he pulled out one of those electric shavers and just went to town on his face. I know I'm strange but... jeez. I hope he picked up the clippings.

After class I hung out with my friends at Subway, which is kinda like our hangout spot now. I always get the same thing 'cos I'm reeeeally predictable. It was too hot to do much else after that, so we went to the mall and spent an hour or so playing table football. Shops in the that mall keep closing down (there's another more popular mall reeeeally close, and the less popular one is 90% empty tbh) so they've been putting Community Enrichment stuff in the empty areas. There's a ping-pong parlor, a bike lockup, an honesty library, a table football area, a jigsaw puzzle place, and a music lounge. There's also two pianos by the football place and of course someone started playing Bohemian Rhapsody while we were getting our soccer on, so we started singing along. I had a lot of fun and that's, like, rare for me because my depression is like HEY YOU'RE ENJOYIN' YASELF? FUCKA YOU. I think I'm in a Sunny Patch rn so let's hope it lasts!

I better get to bed because it's the county fair tomorrow and I gotta be outta the house by 9. I'll definitely post photos when I'm home!!



Date:
23.06.19


Mood: Cheerful


Music of the day: Talk Too Much (COIN)
20:18
Sorry for the lazy entry yesterday, I was too knocked out to actually write anything substantial. I guess it's the heat, huh.

I played more DST in the evening with a friend - I'm practicing maining WX-78 - and we managed to not do too badly. I ended up sleeping on the couch 'cause I was looking at buying a Psyduck build-a-bear, as you do, and this bloody massive spider crawled over my duvet. As much as I like spiders, I don't really want them in my bed. It turns out I'm too tall to sleep on the couch properly, but the good thing was I wasn't too freaked out to - a few summers ago a mouse got into my room so I tried to sleep downstairs, only I was super afraid of a ghost murdering me.

Trying to watch more Megalo Box but it keeps buffering. I've been looking through my listography instead. It's funny how much I've changed (and how little I read these days).



Date:
22.06.19


Mood: Hot :(


Music of the day: Saturnz Barz (Gorillaz)
19:30
It's been too hot to do much of anything today. I went downtown in the morning to get my eyes tested and was practically melting the whole time.

I'm too hot and sleepy to write a long journal entry, but I started watching Megalo Box and so far it's pretty decent! I really like that style of anime - you can probably tell by all the Cowboy Bebop stuff - and I was kinda worried I'd never find something else I liked. I'm also trying to work out how to advertise my art commissions in a way that... you know, actually makes people want to buy them.



Date:
20/06/19


Mood:


Music of the day: The Egg And I


Daily Observation: Always check orders carefully.
21:11
So, today was pretty eventful! I got more sleep than I thought I would (I guess yesterday tuckered me out) though I woke up too early and Sooty came and slept on a pillow next to me when I eventually fell back asleep. Mum went grocery shopping in the morning and then went to work at lunch, so I just laid on the sofa and watched Friends. My dad loathes it but I think it's fun! Well, at least until Ross comes on screen. God, I hate him. I played some DST too with my friend - I'm trying to main WX-78 more 'cos I got the halloween costume chest and I don't want to waste it (I literally only got it for Wes and Webber) - and that was pretty fun. Aaaafter that, didn't do much else except trying to make a cohesive timeline for my OC universe which is... difficult. Who'd've thunk starting a story in 1820 and continuing it into the 1990s would be hard? Still, I'll get it done one way or another. I'm honestly really proud of that project!

In the evening we picked up my friend Emi to go to our college showcase which was, in true Dorian style, not at all as advertised. We watched our short films and mum met all my mates, and then I caught wind of the snack table which was a mistake - they had those cardboard alcohol carton... things and I tried white wine because I am legal to drink and it is RANK. It burned!! Actually burned!! That's probably because it had citrus in it, though. Aaaagh. We finished up early after that and dad was in a jolly old mood so we went to McDonald's, where I ordered a double cheeseburger with one patty and got... a bun, cheese, extra mustard and ketchup. And no burger. Can you even believe that?! Luckily we managed to get another right order but... it would only happen to me. I'm cursed!

To round off a good day, I saw a hedgehog where our rockery used to be! They were just snuffling along, doing whatever it is hedgehogs do. It surprised me so much that I stopped mid-conversation, and promptly forgot the word for hedgehog. We left them some cat food and they played dead 'til we went back inside.



Date:
19/06/19


Mood:
Ask again later.

Music:
Bennie and The Jets (Cast of Rocketman)

Daily Observation: Ross Geller Sucks.

12:39
Goood morning! I mean, technically, it's lunchtime but... time isn't real so whatever! I stayed up until 2am waiting for a storm to hit, and it was pretty damn unsatisfactory. There was, like, one flash of lightning and a couple of thunder rumbles. It super sucks because I really love storms, but the weather over here is just weak drizzle constantly. Actually -- just checked the weather for my village (yeah, I live in a village) and it's supposed to storm at 1pm. Let's see how accurate accuweather actually is.

I have to get on with some work for class so I'll probably start that after I eat - after that, I'll most likely nap or watch a movie or something. I take a nap like literally every day, it feels like. It's the good old combo of zoloft and disabilities that mean I'm just about done for the day by 2pm. Christ, I really do sound like an old person. All this talk about weather and naps and shit. I promise you that I am actually a fun teenager!! I swear!!!

17:14
I threw up. And it didn't storm. And I'm sleepy and hungry and didn't get any work done. Everything kinda majorly fuckin' sucks, y'know? The only good thing is that Sooty came and sat with me while I watched Friends. I don't know if I like... like Friends (fuck Ross) but it's a decent watch when you're too out of it for real TV. I'm gonna try and eat something and then play Minecraft or some shit, I think. My brain's too fried to really do much else.


Date:
18/06/19


Mood:
Sleepy...

Music:
Geno (Dexys Midnight Runners)

Daily Observation:
Cheese and mayo subway subs are godly (try 'em!!!)


21:07
I finished making the showreel for Thursday's end-of-year showcase and now I am absolutely knackered. My teacher, Dorian, is kind of a dragon - I'm actually kinda scared of him - and he made us cut some of the short films out of the reel. I'm super worried now because the parents will be there and it'll super hurt if people hype up their films only for them to... not be in it.

I'm supposed to be going in tomorrow to help my group film a missing shot for our music video but nobody turned up today aside from me and this other guy so I absolutely need a break (I'm not a full-time student, I only do 2 1/2 days at college) and I'll probably just sleep in tomorrow. It's too hot to sleep at night, too hot to do anything but lie around complaining. I got a hand-crank fan from Tiger in the shape of a snail and it's sooooo cute!! With all this heat, I might build up some serious muscles from all that cranking.

I had a bad dream last night (think it's the heat) in which I was bitten by a dog on the sole of my foot and then deadnamed repeatedly by the aforementioned teacher. Kind of super sucks, but I doubt either of those things are gonna happen (dragon though he is, Dorian is the trans ally). I hold the belief that dreams are just your subconscious barfing stuff up, and it's kinda like a lucky dip as to what you'll get. I remember as a kid I had this nightmare where I was in my back garden by the greenhouse and a MySims girl (blonde? Dunno if she was a canon character) was swinging super solemnly on this swing and she just... stared at me and I woke up scared shitless. Like, what is scary about that?! Hoping my insomnia doesn't kick in, but if it does I've found the holy grail cure: Kiwami Japan Knife Videos.

Much love (and remember to wear a sunhat)!
Finn